Major Pain in the Deity
by GAKDragonMCP
Summary: A massive crossover, with my Star Wars story, Only One Second Chance, starts after Angel season 2. This story is a complete . at the moment . set of Missing Moments


AUTHOR'S NOTE AND DISCLAIMER:  Joss Whedon, Fox, & Mutant Enemy own everything Buffy and Angel (Grrr, argh), George Lucas owns Star Wars, Panzer/Davis own Highlander, Anne Rice owns her stuff, I own all the rest (no really, I do).  Any and all songs printed within Gods, Prophecies, Apocalypse and More Gods are not owned by me.  They are owned by the name that follows them.  

     This is sort of a SW/ Buffy crossover (with Immortals, the MacLeods, and Anne Rice vampires thrown in for spice), but it happens 5,000 years after the SW movies – or more specifically, 5,000+/- years after the events of my SW fanfic, "Only One Second Chance" –  and before Buffy season 6 and Angel season 3 (and during Highlander: Endgame).  I will kill Joss for letting UPN have "Buffy!"  It should have stayed on the same network as "Angel."  Their seasons are lacking without guest appearances!  (And sex with Spike?!?! *author vomits* I've fixed that little problem of Buffy's, you'll just have to read it and find out how)

     Now, let me explain the setting of this fic.  There are several "realities" at any given time.  There is the 'true' reality, a perfect reality, an opposite reality, and each of these has subsets of alternate realities.  The 'true' reality is ours, where Buffy and Angel do not exist, but Sarah and David are actors who play them.  In the perfect reality, Angel never left Buffy to go to LA, or never lost his soul, or Riley never left and he & Buffy live happily married, if that floats your boat.  In the opposite reality, everything that happened, every decision made in the true reality happened exactly opposite.  I.e., if you go left in one reality, you turn right in its opposite reality, and subsequent wackiness ensues.  Bizarro Sunnydale from the episode "The Wish" is one example of an opposite reality.

     There is a good fanfic ("Authors Take Action" by Dreamer to be found at ) that states the Powers That Be are actually Joss, Marti, and some other writers from our "reality," and the rest of us are the Powers That Aren't.  I am borrowing that viewpoint.  For instance, in the perfect reality, or a reality where Angel never left Buffy, Joss is not one of the PTBs.  One of us hopeless Buffy-and-Angel romantics is.  

     This story is in a reality where the seasons of Buffy and Angel happened, unchanged, up to the last two episodes of each series in Buffy's fifth season (Angel's second).  In the last episode of Buffy, nothing changed.  You will soon see the changes that I made to Angel's season finale.  Read the story for further explanations.  

     This fanfic is how I think Angel would/SHOULD have reacted to Buffy's death.  It steals a lot from the new episodes of each show (changed, of course), then goes off-track (I am using Conner, Holtz, the music demon and others, the plot of The Book of Fours by Nancy Holder plus the plot & ending of Highlander 4).  It also takes Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality approach to Heaven, Hell and Purgatory (with his character "Parry" as Satan, Incarnation of Evil and not-so-bad guy, and 'Hell' as a sort of dimension that Parry controls that collects and punishes damned souls – Acathla is for demons).  

     All of the "Skywalkers" are mine except for the ones mentioned in the movies and subsequent books.  Note:  In two separate Angel episodes, they mention his real first name (I think a sister or his father called him Liam, then when Lilah was researching him she mentioned it.  Plus it says so in my newly acquired Angel Casefiles book).  "Caldwell" is just my idea of a common Irish surname.  If anybody knows Angel's real surname, and can point me to where it is documented, E-mail me at GAKDragon@msn.com (also send me feedback – please, please, please!  I live for horrible feedback, I get it from my dad all the time).  

     In order to properly introduce my twin main characters, Katarina and Gavin, I have added their thoughts, comments, and quasi-actions to some major "Buffy" and "Angel" scenes.  Please read them prior to reading the main story, GPA&MG.  All thought-speak and anything written (journal/diary entries, prophecies, etc) are in _italics_ and **'s.  There is also a character list included here.  

     If you are reading this off my website, you can use the links embedded within the story.  If you are reading this from Serena's "Land of Denial" website, you'll just have to scroll down.  Oh yeah – some cursing added for effect, but most of it done in a language other than English.  But if you can watch the show, you shouldn't have any problems.  

MPitD links:                                              GPA&MG links:

Character List                                                           **coming soon**

scene 1 ("What's My Line?" part 2)

scene 2 (Between "Surprise" and "Innocence")

scene 3 ("Becoming" part 2)

scene 4 ("Lover's Walk")

scene 5 ("The Prom")

scene 6 ("Graduation Day" part 2)

scene 7 (During season 4)

scene 8 ("I Will Remember You")

scene 9 ("The Yoko Factor")

scene 10 (Dawn)

scene 11 (Joyce's Funeral)

scene 12/Prologue (Angel's season 2 Finale:  Meeting Kad)

**Major Pain in the Deity**[TP1] ****

("Gods, Prophecies, Armageddon, and More Gods" Missing Scenes and Otherwise Useful Information)

CHARACTER LIST[TP2] 

Katarina Skywalker – _Known in prophecies as the Dragon and the prize, Kad is over 5,000 years old.  She is the current Greek Goddess of Fire (_Hestia_), one of five Supreme Gods (she is Supreme due to sheer power, not influence or mythical hierarchy).  She is also the Fire Elemental, embued with all the powers of mystical fire.  _

_     Though human in appearance (blond, blue eyes, fair skin, 6'8 7/16" – think Firiona Vie, the Everquest poster girl), she is a shape-shifter, capable of morphing into any living organism.  She is Angel's protector, but is hidden from him until such time as he makes "first contact" with her; either by seeing her, or hearing her voice.  Like Angel, she has an evil side, but hers is in a separate body, and goes by the name Malkite.  Just as the Angel we know and love is nothing like Angelus, so too is it with Katarina and the Malkite.  _

_     She has been a part of every Good vs. Evil battle since her birth.  _

Gavin Skywalker – _Kad's twin brother, he is the God of the Wood; master of all forests and all creatures therein.  He is also one of the Supreme Gods (he was picked at random to fill the fifth wild card spot).  He is the Earth Elemental, solid and steady and in touch with everything of the Earth.  _

_     His role is as bodyguard; he was watching over Buffy until her death and his mysterious disappearance.  _

_     He is 7'0" and built like a Mr. Universe contender.  He has the ability to phase from one place to another in an instant.  He, too, was shielded from Buffy until she made contact with him.  _

Ian Skywalker – _Ian is Kad's and Gavin's older half brother.  He was killed in 1872 by Darla.  As a ghost, he followed her.  When the Gypsies cursed Angel with his soul, Ian attached himself to that soul, and is now a silent resident in Angel's mind.  He was the Air Elemental, and since Angel is a Warrior of Air, remains thus.  He is waiting for the time when he will be "exorcised" from Angel's mind and put into a more suitable body.  _

Celine Skywalker – _Ian's twin sister, she is the mother of all life and Water Elemental.  She had four children:  _

_            Chronos = first God_

_            Daemon = first demon_

_            Cerah = first fae (fairy)_

_            Adam = first human_

_     From Chronos came the other Gods, and he created Eve and the rest of the Earth for his siblings.  The Garden of Eden was Paradise.  Daemon's descendants quickly took over the rest of the world and made it Hell, into which Adam and Eve were quickly expelled, thus fulfilling (sort of) both the Bible version of Paradise and Creation, and the Buffyverse version of a demon-ruled Hell on Earth.  _

_     From Daemon came all manner of demons, trolls, and other beasts.  _

_     From Cerah came fairies, sprites, nymphs, and other non-human, non-demon creatures.  _

_     From Adam, with Eve, came Man.  _

_     Cellie was inadvertently murdered hundreds of years ago by the seventh Vampire Slayer.  Ever since, her spirit has been mysteriously transferred from Slayer to Slayer, laying dormant for six generations/callings and rising up with the seventh to become an active part of the warrior during that girl's _cruciamentum_.  _

Deanna Skywalker – _Mother of Ian and Celine, she is the Voice of Prophecy.  She dictates what will happen in future events.  She has no direct control over the individuals in the world, only the events that happen and the timing.  She has a modicum of power over the Fates and the Powers that Be.  It is the job of the Powers to choose the people who will be at each event.  It is up to the Fates to make certain the right people are in the right place at the right time.  For example, Deanna writes this for a prophecy:  _The Warrior meets the Friend, and brings the Friend into his world to serve his purpose alongside him and his companions._  Obscure on purpose.  The Powers assign Angel to the title "The Warrior," and Winifred Burkle to the title "The Friend," filling in the blanks.  The Fates spin the threads together in such a way as to make certain that Angel goes to Pylea, gets Fred, and brings her back with him to Earth, thus fulfilling the prophecy.  _

Jennifer Skywalker _–_ _Mother of Kad and Gavin, Deanna's older twin and Frederic's wife.  Though she lived on Mount Olympus for some time, she has since been seen both as a member of a powerful coven outside London, and as the new principal of LA's Daniel Murphy High School.  _

Frederic Skywalker – _Father of Ian, Celine, Kad and Gavin, he holds the position of "Creator."  He is higher than any God, from Zeus to Jesus Christ.  When traveling in the mortal realm, he leaves behind a palpable feeling of utter peace.  His purpose as Creator is to oversee the movement of all souls.  For instance, if a soul being punished in Hell has sufficiently redeemed itself, Frederic determines if it can be moved to Purgatory or even Heaven.  He also decides the fates of those souls caught in the cycle of reincarnation.  He chooses which souls go where to fill any needed positions, that sort of thing.  _

Liam Caldwell (a.k.a. Angelus/Angel) – _The Blessed Warrior (of Air), the Champion, chosen by the Powers to fight for good and justice.  _

Buffy Summers – _The Slayer (of Air) called in 1996, Buffy was killed by the Master but resuscitated, thereby earning her the title, Undead Slayer.  She is occasionally referred to in prophecy as _Ioniun_, which is Gaelic for 'beloved.'  ___

Connor MacLeod – _Born in 1518 in Glen Finin, Scotland, he is an Immortal.  He is married to Kad, but assumes she is dead.  He owned an antique shop in NYC, but at the time of this story, his whereabouts are unknown to his clansman and his wife, both of whom must assume the worst.  _

Duncan MacLeod – _Born in 1592, also in Scotland, he was discovered on a battlefield in 1625 by Connor and trained in the Game.  His only wife is Kate, also an Immortal, whose whereabouts at the time of this story are unknown.  Duncan is quite possibly the last person to have seen Connor MacLeod (with his head still firmly attached, at least).  _

Joe Dawson – _Owner of a Blues bar/club, he is a member of the Society of Watchers, assigned to Duncan.  _

SCENE 1[TP3] 

("What's My Line?" part 2)

     Kad sat next to the chained Angel, anguish on her face.  Drusilla began to pour Holy Water down his chest.  He hissed in pain.  

     "Angel, please hear me.  I know you can," she pleaded, desperate to act and help him.  "Father, please!  Let me save him," she called heavenward.  

     Drusilla poured the entire jar over Angel's chest.  He screamed in agony.  

     "Angel, hear me!  Please!"  

*****

SCENE 2[TP4] 

SURPRISE (Between "Surprise" and "Innocence")

     Kad pulled at her bottom lip as she watched the coupling of Vampire and Slayer.  "Do you think Ian can hold him back?"  

     "Doubtful," Gavin replied honestly.  "Unlike you and Luke, he is unused to having to battle with an inner demon that powerful.  Angelus will surely win this round."  

     "_Shavit_," she swore softly.  "What do we do?"  

     He spread his hands wide.  "What can we do?  Father has forbidden us to interfere in this matter until one of them makes the first contact with us.  His will is absolute."  

     "I know, but-"  

     Suddenly, it happened.  Angel jerked awake.  He threw back the covers, put on some clothes, and ran outside.  "Here we go," Gavin said as they went out to watch the transformation.  

     Angel stood in the rain and screamed, "Buffy!"  There was a flash of light and a ghostly image of Angel came running towards them.  

     "I haf ta git aweh from 'im," he spoke in a thickly accented brogue.  "'E's th' Devil 'imself."  He ran past them, unseeing.  

     Ian came running after.  "You son of a whore, get your coward ass back here!"  He slowed and waved to his younger siblings.  "Hi guys, can't stop to talk."  He ran after Liam Caldwell, Angel's soul.  "Get back here, you _Chekoija dakchexta!"  _

     The twins shook their heads.  "Come on, sis.  We have to wait this one out."  

     Kad sighed and followed him back in.  During Buffy's confrontation with Angelus a day later, she sent soothing thoughts to the Slayer.  *_Do not listen to him, Buffy.  This is not the Angel you know.  Trust your heart, not your ears.  The real Angel loves you.  He just cannot control his inner demon any longer._*  She was unheard.  

*****

SCENE 3[TP5] 

NO WAY OUT ("Becoming" part 2)

     Gavin spoke quietly into the hospital phone.  "They have everything they need for the spell, they should be starting soon."  

     "Roger that," Kad said into her cell phone.  She was watching Buffy battle Angelus.  The demon Acathla stood, silent, behind them.  Spike picked up Drusilla and carried her away.  

     There was silence over the phone line, then Gavin said, "There it goes, Willow just completed the spell!"  

     "I see it, it is working."  She replied as Angel reached out to Buffy.  

     "Buffy?  What's going on?"  He stood up and faced her, confusion written on his face.  "Where are we?  I- I don't remember."  

     She slowly lowered her sword.  "Angel?"  

     "You're hurt."  He touched her arm, where Angelus had cut her.  He grabbed her and held her close.  "Oh, Buffy…God.  I feel like I haven't seen you in months."  She sank against him in relief.  "Oh my God, everything's so muddled.  I-"  He kissed her on the shoulder.  "Oh, Buffy."  

     Behind them, Acathla turned into a wide, gaping maw.  

     "No!" Kad shouted.  "The dimension is opening!"  

     Gavin swore.  "Do something, Kad!"  

     She ran from the shadows towards the statue.  Halfway there, her entire body froze in a wash of golden light.  *_KADARINADH, DO NOT!_*  

     *_Father, I must!_*  

     *_NO, THIS IS FOR THEM TO FINISH._*  

     *_But, Father-_*  

     *_NO, KAD.  YOUR TIME SHALL COME.  THIS IS NOT YOUR FIGHT._*  

     "What's happening?" Angel said, ignorant both of Kad's struggle to get free, and Acathla's mouth opening.  

     "Shh.  Don't worry about it."  Buffy leaned close and kissed him.  "I love you."  

     "I love you."  

     "Close your eyes."  He stared at her, then obeyed.  She kissed him again and stabbed him with the blesséd sword.  

     At the instant the sword pierced his flesh, Katarina grabbed her stomach and sank to the ground.  Her mouth worked soundlessly as she tried to contain the pain.  But it was coming from two different levels:  part of it was Angel's very real pain, and another part was buried deep in her past.  It was shared pain and phantom pain, and it would not go away until it was done communicating its message.  

     Angel's eyes flew open and he reached out to Buffy.  "Why?" he whispered.  Acathla's vortex pulled him into another dimension.  

     "Noooo!"  The paralysis and the pain left Katarina shell-shocked as the vortex closed, taking Angel with it.  Her wail was heard only by Gavin.  His voice came through the earpiece of the cell phone.  

     "Kad?  Kad?!  What is it?  What happened?"  

     Tears streamed down her face as she rocked back and forth, sobbing.  Her arms were folded over her abdomen, as if pressing the pain back would keep the memories at bay.  

     "Katarina!" Gavin roared.  She jerked and stared at the device.  She put it to her ear and spoke in a monotone.  

     "Angel is dead, Gavin.  Acathla opened, and Buffy had to sacrifice Angel to close it."  

     Gavin dropped the receiver in shock, swearing softly.  What were they going to do now?  

*****

SCENE 4[TP6] 

BREAK-UP (Just after "Lover's Walk")

     One twin whispered to the other, "Who do they think they are fooling?  Theirs is a love truer than anything known in about 1,000 years."  

     "They will only cause each other more heartache when they realize their love is everlasting."  Kad shook her head and motioned for her brother to follow.  

*****

SCENE 5[TP7] 

 SHATTERED (Just after Angel broke up with Buffy in "The Prom")

     Kad silently gazed at Angel, sitting in front of the fire, staring into the flames.  The look on his face was one of pure anguish and heartbreak.  He had sacrificed his true love to save her and, ultimately, the world.  Her cell phone rang, and she answered it distractedly.  

     "Hello?"  

     "Hey, you," her brother said.  She burst into tears at his sympathetic voice.  "Is he that bad?"  Gavin asked, referring to Angel's condition.  

     "Gavin, I hate seeing him like this," she sobbed.  "He looks so lost.  I wish I could help him.  I have never seen him in so much pain."  

     "Not even after Spike's last visit?"  

     "No.  When Buffy dumped him, there was rage.  He tore the mansion apart in his anger.  But this…Gavin, he just sits there by the fireplace.  And the look on his face…I just want to hug him and tell him everything will get better."  

     "She is the same way.  She keeps leafing through the book of sonnets he gave her for her birthday.  She is heartbroken."  

     "So is he.  I hate it.  I know the Powers want to test his resolve, his desire to make amends, but this is too much."  

     "He needs time.  They both do.  One day, they will be together.  Just, not today, or tomorrow, or any day in the immediate future."  

     "Promise?"  

     He sighed, watching the Slayer's tears fall silently on the page with Elizabeth Barrett Browning's most famous sonnet:  _How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways_.  How were they ever going to get past this?  "I promise."  

*****

SCENE 6[TP8] 

GOODBYE ("Graduation Day" part 2)

     "I will miss you, dear sister."  He crushed her in a bear hug.  

     "Mmm.  I will miss you, too.  Be careful."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "I will call as soon as he gets settled in Los Angeles."  

     He kissed her on the forehead.  "_Sho'lam'be, __peilin."  She grinned at the familiar proverb of farewell, and his nickname for her.  _

     "_Sho'lam'be_, _peika," she replied.  _

      As Angel left Buffy with only a look goodbye, Katarina faded into the shadows and followed him.  Gavin watched her depart, then turned back to Buffy and his new duties.  

*****

SCENE 7[TP9] 

UPDATE: HE'S STILL BROODING, SHE'S STILL MISERABLE (One of many routine phone calls throughout season 4)

     "How is everything in your neck of the woods?  Still brooding?"  

     "Yes, though not quite as much.  He throws himself into his work now and then.  What about her?"  

     "She tries, but no one measures up to him."  

     Kad snorted.  "Of course not.  Where else in the cosmos is she going to find a soul mate when hers is living here in LA?"  

     "Well, last week she was all goo-goo eyed over some Casanova.  She slept with him and he treated her like _shavit.  This week she is sweet on some ROTC/military commando.  I do not like either one of them.  Something untrustworthy about this last one, though."  _

     "Name?"  

     "Riley Finn, or some such nonsense.  Xander calls him Lilac Fish Boy, which I enjoy immensely."  

     "What is it with her and Irishmen?"  

     He chuckled.  "Oh, he is far from Irish.  His ancestors were, maybe.  But this guy is from Iowa.  He even owns his own cow.  As I recall, your passions always leaned towards Scotsmen.  Perhaps she has the same underlying tendencies to the Irish, or she is looking for Angel in every man she meets."  

     "Probably the second one.  Well, keep me posted.  Love you, brother."  

     "Love you too, sis.  So long."  _Click_.  

*****

SCENE 8[TP10] 

"I WILL REMEMBER" (Angel is human for a day)

     Kad sat in Gavin's arms.  They rested on Angel's couch while their charges slept.  Or, did other bed-related things neither twin wanted to confirm.  "Mmm," she mumbled into his chest.  

     He smiled and kissed her temple.  Stroking her hair, he said softly, "This is a nice change."  

     "Indeed."  She glanced at the closed door.  "Do you think the souls have been sent?"  

     He chuckled.  "Oh, I think she was pregnant the minute they got off that table."  

     "This is amazing.  Father got to create two souls, and now they will be used."  

     "But what do we do until they come of age?"  

     "No idea," she replied.  "Father has everything planned, I bet.  Something does not feel right, though."  

     "How so?"  

     "Well, Aunt Deanna's prophecies say that he must complete trials, tests, and win the End of Days before he becomes human.  He has yet to see either one of us, and," she gestured toward the closed door, "he is human."  

     "Good point."  

     "Where the hell is he going?" she asked later as Angel quietly left the apartment.  

     "Maybe they ran out of ice cream and chocolate sauce."  They both giggled.  "Go.  I will have some hot cocoa waiting for you."  

     She smiled and kissed him sweetly.  "You are too good to me."  

***

     "This is going to tear him apart," Kad whispered from within Gavin's arms.  Her eyes were a dark blue, and they shined with unshed tears.  

     "Father, too," he agreed.  "He was so excited at the chance to see those two souls in action.  The Powers were all for it, everybody was in on this 'planned pregnancy' of Buffy's and Angel's."  

     She watched as Buffy and Angel clung together, Buffy whispering, "I'll never forget, I'll never forget," like a mantra.  

     Gavin kissed the crown of her head.  "Looks like you were right.  This was never supposed to happen."  

     "Maybe it was.  You know, incentive."  She hugged him tight.  

     There was a flash of light, and time had turned back a day.  All three of them, Angel, Gavin, and Kad, lurched with the shock of it.  The twins looked at each other sadly from their former spots in Angel's office.  Kad folded her arms and leaned against Angel's desk.  True to the Powers' will, only Angel remembered.  A tear slipped from the eyes of both twins as they watched the lovers being separated.  

     The twin Gods were higher up on the food chain than demons or mortals, largely unaffected by the mortal world.  The Powers could not remove their memories.  

     "What do we do now?"  

     "When she returns to Sunnydale, let her remember.  But slowly," she said, grabbing his arm as he turned to leave.  "And in her dreams.  Let her dream of a lifetime together with him, stemming from this day.  Make them as vivid as…."  Her voice caught.  "Just make them vivid."  

     He nodded.  "I understand exactly what you mean.  I will see what I can do."  

     She sighed and watched Angel's reaction as Buffy left.  "This is going to take a while.  Keep in touch," she called as Gavin followed his charge.  

     "As always," he replied just before he went out of earshot.  

*****

SCENE 9[TP11] 

THIS IS BETTER THAN PASSIONS (Riley vs. Angel)

     Kad smirked as Angel turned from the unconcious commandoes and faced Buffy's new beau.  This was gonna be so much fun.  

     "Riley Finn," Angel ground out between elongated teeth.  

     "I know you?"  Kad began giggling already.  This was too much.  This corn-fed Iowa farmboy was Buffy's new boyfriend?  What was she, a pod person?  

     "We have a friend in common."  

     "Angel."  

     Angel looked around at the unconcious Initiative soldiers.  "Welcoming committee your idea?"  

     "Way I heard it, you were all peaceable now."  He looked around too.  "You didn't by any chance go and lose that pesky soul again, did you?"  

     "Don't push me, boy."  As Riley moved closer towards him, Angel circled in the other direction.  

     "Now what possibly could've happened between you and Buffy that would make you lose your soul?"  Riley's face was drawn, taught.  

     Kad rolled her eyes.  "If he was soulless, niether one of us would be standing here right now, Fish Boy."  

     "That'd be between me and her."  

     As Angel stepped closer, Riley opened up his taser and stood his ground.  "Where do you think you're going?"  

     Kad sighed in disgust.  "Oh, you are so asinine if you think that is going to stop him, evil or not."  

     "Going to see an old girlfriend," Angel replied.  

     "Oh, you really think I'm gonna let that happen?"  

     "Think you're gonna stop me?"  

     "I surely do."  

     The fight began, and Riley lost his taser right off the bat.  

     Kad sat on a pile of crates and offered strategy.  "That was dumb of you, farm boy.  Should have kept a tighter grip on it.  It is the only way to defeat him, to cheat."  

     Angel threw Riley into the garbage heap.  

     "Nothing in there will help you, unless you want to hide your own stench."  

     As Angel kept the upper hand in the fight, Kad giggled.  "Oh, I never get tired of this."  She was grinning.  

     "Damnit," Kad swore as the Initiative's crew responded to the rescue call.  She stood on the crates and followed Angel up to the roof.  

***

     Kad stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall next to Buffy's door.  "Why in hell are *you* apologizing to *her*?  She should be grovelling at your feet."  

     "Kad?"  Gavin passed through the wall next to the door.  

     "Hello," she said warmly, giving him a kiss on each cheek.  

     "What is all this about?"  

     "He came to town to apologize to her, and met a commando squad.  Riley came in after he knocked them all out."  

     Gavin groaned.  "That Fish Boy is headed here next."  

     "How did she get that scar?"  

     "Fight with Adam.  He is going to be one tough customer."  

     "All she has to do is rip out his heart, his power supply."  

     "There is a sumerian spell that would help.  But Spike is trying to tear the group apart from inside.  Giles knows the spell, but it is too difficult to cast.  Willow does not have the fluid knowledge of the language that she would need, and it would also have to be done right in front of Adam.  Buffy would never allow that."  

     "They need a joining spell."  

     "Yes, but they have to trust each other first, and Buffy has been pulling away.  That is pulling the whole group apart."  

     "_Kor ne ispa!_" she swore.  "Can we just kill Riley?  You know, make Angel stay and help out?"  

     He chuckled.  "I wish.  And there is Riley," Gavin introduced as the soldier came down the hallway.  

     They stood silently during the confrontation, but then each of them giggled as Buffy, with a single look, asked Angel to follow her outside.  "And there it is!" Kad exclaimed.  "There is the end of the trust.  No matter what she may tell him, Fish Boy knows he and Buffy will never have that kind of rapport."  

     "She said she trusted Riley.  But he will never be able to trust her again."  

     "Help him?!"  Kad replied after Buffy's comment.  "You went there for revenge, you stupid bitch, he never needed your help!"  

     "Shh, shh shh shh," Gavin took her in his arms and held her tight.  "Calm down," he whispered.  

     "It does not matter, they cannot see me anyway."  But she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let her anger wash away.  

     "This is not the time.  They still need to grow.  But soon, it will happen."  

     "I love you," she said softly, as Angel started to walk away.  

     He turned, told Buffy he didn't like Riley.  Gavin bent his head gently to kiss Kad's lips.  "Love you too," he said, as Buffy headed back inside.  Kad walked away, and Gavin held her hand for as long as he could.  

*****

SCENE 10[TP12] 

A SISTER?!  BUFFY DOESN'T HAVE A SISTER (Dawn)

     Gavin stared in confusion up the stairs as Joyce shouted, "And take your sister with you!"  Sister?  Since when did Buffy have a sister?  He bounded up the stairs to Buffy's room.  There, with a pout on her face and facing off against Buffy for a possible shouting match, was a pretty brunette of about 15.  He blinked a few times, certain he had never seen her before.  He gently probed her mind with a tendril of the Force.  

     He gasped and put a hand to his mouth.  He dug out his cell phone and punched the speed-dial.  Kad answered after one ring.  "You will never believe what I have in front of me."  

     "Gavin, what is it?"  

     "I am looking at one of Father's souls."  

     "What?!!"  He could hear her jaw drop over the phone.  "How?  Who?"  

     "I am not sure of the how yet, but it is the girl.  Only, she is fifteen and Buffy's sister, instead of her daughter."  

     "Sister?"  

     "That is what Joyce called her.  Her name is Dawn."  

     "This is indeed strange.  Call me the minute you solve the mystery."  

     "Oh, you bet.  Where are you now?"  

     "On the way to the Yorba Ranch.  Angel is taking advantage of the extended visiting hours on Saturdays."  

     He grinned.  "That should go a long way to helping Faith."  

     "I hope so.  Talk to you soon."  

     "Bye."  

*****

SCENE 11[TP13] 

LAST GLANCE (Joyce's funeral)  

     Gavin leaned against a tree, watching day turn into night.  As Angel walked up next to Buffy and said, "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner," Kad came up behind Gavin and put her arms around him.  

     "Hey, you," she said softly.  

     "Hey," he replied.  

     The twins watched Buffy and Angel in silence.  The pair of lovers sat next to a tree, Angel propped against the trunk, and Buffy situated in front of him.  

     "How are things?" Gavin said over his shoulder.  

     "Mmm," came the reply.  

     "He still cannot see you?"  

     "Nope."  

     He shook his head.  "With her I can understand.  Sellie is, unfortunately, still dormant, and I fade into the shadows pretty well.  But he has the company of a Seer, albeit an unorthodox one."  

     "Well, he has yet to notice me."  

     After a few minutes of silence, he said, "I have a plan for defeating this Glory person."  

     "Ooh, tell me."  

     He shook his head.  "I can-"  

     "Spies everywhere?"  

     He nodded.  

     "Tell me after, then."  She paused.  "He should never have come, she is too emotionally raw.  He should have called."  

     "Would you have stayed away?"  

     "No, but this is different."  

     "Not by much."  They watched as Buffy kissed Angel.  "Bah, _shavit," Gavin swore.  _

     "See?  I told you, he never should have come."  She stepped in front of him.  "What do you want to do for our birthday?"  

     "When is that, two weeks?"  

     "Yes.  I was thinking, just a small picnic or something."  

     "How old are we, again?"  

     "We will turn 5,013."  

     He absent-mindedly put his arms around her shoulders.  "A picnic sounds good.  Where?"  

     "If I can manage it, LA."  

     "Just call and tell me when and where."  

     "_Da_."  She leaned her head on his shoulder and rested in his arms for a while.  "Whoa, wait a minute."  She shook her head and blinked.  

     "What?"  

     "Do you mean to tell me my oldest son is going to turn 5,000 in less than a year?"  

     "Hmph.  Guess so."  

     "God, the entire family must be headed here to celebrate."  

     "That should be fun.  Wonder if Father will make an appearance."  They watched as Angel said a bitter-sweet goodbye to Buffy.  

     "Bloody stupid git, there he goes."  

     "Keep me posted."  

     "What else is new?"  As she left to follow Angel, he heard in his mind, *_I told you so_.*  He grinned and waved goodbye.  

*****

SCENE 12/PROLOGUE[TP14] 

ANGEL MEETS KAD  (Author's note:  This is the beginning of what I changed.  It happens during the Season 2 finale of "Angel," after the scene where Angel vamps out in Pylea and turns into a green demon.  From here on out, I say screw you, Joss.)  

     Kad sat, Indian-style, in front of Angel and tried to soothe him as he slept.  He woke as Winifred entered, munching on some berries.  "I found Kalla berries," the addle-brained physicist said.  "They sweeten the oatmeal.  Well, I call it oatmeal.  It's actually krug-grains and thistles.  But with enough Kalla berries…"  

     "Angel, that was not you.  It was not even a part of you.  It was a demon, the demon that goes by the name of Angelus, who took over your body when your soul was caught off guard."  A tear silently rolled down Kad's face.  "Angel, you must believe me."  

     "You're wrong, Fred."  

     "They don't sweeten the oatmeal?" the girl protested with her slight twang.  

     "Wait, huh?"  She was talking about something completely different.  

     She held out her bowl.  "Kalla berries," she explained.  "For the oatmeal?"  

     He frowned, rubbing his forehead.  "You weren't talking about demons and- and what happened to me?"  Her voice seemed different from the one who had tried to comfort him.  

     "Uh-uh."  

     "Angel," Kad said, hope in her voice, "Can you hear me?"  

     "Yes."  He sat up.  This voice was soft, cultured, urban.  "Who are you?"

     "Katarina Skywalker."    

     His eyes widened.  "Where are you?"  

     "You know the answer to that.  Listen to the sound of my voice, let your senses tell you where I am."  

     He closed his eyes and listened.  "You're here," he pointed.  "In front of me."  

     "Yes." she confirmed, excited.  "What do I look like?  You know my voice, Liam Caldwell.  You must have seen my face at least once before Darla Sired you."  

     "How did you know that?"  

     "Your question is unimportant:  I know everything about you.  See my face, Liam," she urged.  

     He opened his eyes.  There was a blur of light where she was sitting.  "Speak again, I can almost see you."  

     "Very well.  You were born on April 17, 1727 to Conner and Moira Caldwell in Galway, Ireland.  You were Sired at the age of twenty-six on May 5, 1753."  (**Author's note:  _I made up the dates & the names, but the years are straight out of the Angel Casefiles, volume 1, pages 139-144_)

     He gasped and reached out to touch her perfect face.  Her alabaster skin shone like the moon, and her blond hair was paler, he suspected, than his own skin tone.  Her eyes were a delicate, clear blue.  She was wearing black boots, pants, tunic, and a white long-sleeved shirt.  A black cloak was piled at her side.  She smiled at him and took his hand.  "Yes, I am very real."  

     "You were there, when-"  Memories exploded inside his head, visions of scenes from his life lived with her standing beside him.  

     "I was there when Drusilla tortured you, when you lost your soul, when you regained it, each time you and Buffy broke up, when you left for LA and started Angel Investigations; I was there on the day that never happened, there for Joyce Summers' funeral…"  

     "Whoa."  

     "I am over 5,000 years old, Liam.  I was always there."  

     "What are you?"  

     "A Goddess, among other things."  

     After that startling revelation, there was really only one more question.  

     "Why am I here?  That is a little bit of a long story, and I will tell you everything later.  But to sum up, every 500 years there is a battle between Good and Evil that will determine the course of action for the next half-millennia in the universe, and the next one is happening here."  

     "The universe?"  

     "Yes.  I have been a part of every battle since I was born.  Do you really think they all happen on the same planet?  Or even in the same galaxy?"  

     His jaw dropped, and Fred began to ask all sorts of technical questions.  

     "Wait, please.  I have handbooks back at the Hotel that will explain everything much more efficiently.  A physicist like you would probably understand them better, too."  

     "If we ever get back," Fred murmured to herself.  

     "We will get back, if I have to drag us out of here myself and break every law of the cosmos in the process."  She paused to take a sip of water from a canteen in her cloak.  She offered some to Fred, and continued.  "I am here with you because I work better that way, Liam.  Plus, you have my older brother's spirit stuck somewhere inside your head, and I have been told that only I can reach him, get him out."  

     "I do?"  She nodded.  "How did that happen?"  

     "When the Romany cursed you with a soul, he was dragged along for the ride."  

     He took several moments to organize his thoughts.  Winifred dug some cooking gear out of a hiding place and started pounding her Kalla berries into mush.  

     Kad reached into her cloak, pulling out a packet of grainy foodstuff.  "Here, add some water to this, I shall be right back."  She left stealthily, and Angel took her canteen and poured the water into a bowl-shaped rock, mixing it with the meal.  

     "Oooh, real oatmeal," Fred commented.  

     "Looks like," Angel agreed.  

     Kad reentered the cave, plucking the feathers out of a small bird that was – Angel did a double take – still alive.  She took a knife out of her boot and slit the bird's throat, draining the blood into a cup dug out of another cloak pocket.  She squeezed the last drop out and set the carcass aside.  

     She dropped a piece of wood into the fire pit, pointed a finger at it, and muttered, "Torvak."  The wood burst into blue-colored flames.  Kad set the cup in the flames, and motioned for Fred's bowl of oatmeal.  Adding it to the krug-grains and thistles to cook, she picked up the bird again and resumed the plucking.  

     "Was that-" Angel began, then he shook his head.  

     "There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers," Kad quoted.  "You can ask me anything."  

     "I assume that was the original demon?  The green – the thing… the… you know."  

     "Yes, it was.  That was the face of the demon that made the first of your species."  

     "There's more than one kind of vampire?"  

     "Of course there is.  You are familiar with Anne Rice, correct?"  His face registered both recognition and incredulence at her suggestion.  

     "Come on.  There are vampires out there like Lestat?"  

     "Yes and no.  In one of her books, "Queen of the Damned," she writes about the human descendant of a woman-turned-vampire.  She, in a way, is that descendant.  She is – well, near as we can figure – writing about a family legend that has a great deal of truth to it."  

     "But still, those kinds of vampires don't exist."  

     "Can you name every vampire you have ever come across?"  

     "No."  

     "Then how do you know they do not exist?"  

     "Somebody would have heard about them!"  

     "Somebody has.  Anne Rice," she emphasized.  "The vampires that her legends are based on are far from the extravagant creatures she has written about.  But they are very close.  They are a species of vampire that cannot be killed by stake, are unaffected by holy water, crosses, garlic, have reflections.  They can, for the most part, be killed by beheading, fire, and sunlight, but even some of the oldest can survive being severely burned by fire or sunlight.  Just as The Master was not entirely destroyed by a stake through the heart.  They were called the Turok-Han, and in their later years, they are…" she searched for the right word, "rather ugly.  Rupert and Wesley should know something about them."  

     "Surely they have some drawbacks."  

     "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction," Fred stated assertively.  

     "Yes.  They have a nasty habit of going unconscious when the sun is up.  And I mean comatose.  They also cannot drink anything but blood.  You can eat and drink other foods, but they have no taste.  These vampires cannot even eat.  

     "They have heightened telepathy, but very little intelligence – the older ones did, anyway.  These new ones are different.  They cannot – they are sort of deaf and blind to their own Children.  Their fingernails and hair never changes.  If you cut it, it grows back overnight.  They also have no use for the sexual organ."  

     Angel's eyes bugged.  Kad reached into the flames and drew out the cup.  She took another packet from a pocket, of red powder.  She tossed a pinch into the blood and stirred it.  "Here, try this."  

     Angel tested a sip.  "Hot, hot, hot."  

     "Spicy hot, or temperature hot?"  

     "Both."  

     "Good, I thought as much."  

     "How so?"  

     "You, Mr. Vampire," she lifted the packet of seasoning she had added, "can taste cayenne pepper."  She smiled and set the cleaned bird over the fire, then let go.  It hovered, then began slowly to spin itself.  She stirred the meal msuh, then added Fred's mashed berries.  

     "To sum up, the demon that you both come from is the same.  Your species was created last, when the demon fed off a corpse and mingled the blood.  Theirs was created quite some years ealier, when the same demon entered the body of a woman dying of repeated stab wounds.  Because it entered a woman's body, something different was created.  None of us has been able to prove any of our theories, but we believe the Turok-Han was an offspring of that rather unorthodox union.  Which is why they need blood to survive even at 300, and you can go longer without it."  

     "We?  Who is we?"  

     "My siblings and I, warriors for the cause."  

     "So where are all these vampires?"  

     "The older Turok-Han are nearly extinct.  We think they are deep within the earth, near the different Hellmouths.  The new ones are in Miami.  There are only twenty of them in existence.  Possibly less."  

     "Only twenty!  What happened to all of them?"  

     "Well, the new ones all have souls.  Have you Sired anyone with your soul intact?"  

     "No, of course not."  

     "Their reasons for not doing so are the same.  They are highly selective of their potential Children."  She tasted the oatmeal.  "Mmm, not bad, considering."  

     Angel shook his head.  "Do Wolfram & Hart know about these vampires?"  

     "Old ones, yes.  New ones, not to our knowledge.  Here, try this."  She poured meal mush into more plate-like rocks Fred had lying around.  

     "Yum," complimented Fred.  

     Kad ate about half her bowl, and set it aside to tend to the bird.  She took some more seasoning packets from her cloak and coated the bird.  

     "What are you, a chef?"  

     She grinned.  "My brother Gavin is, and he insists that a meal is not complete without seasonings.  Besides, half of these can be used as healing balms.  Well, they are the way I use them."  

     He shook his head, bemused.  "What do you do when you're not saving the world?"  

     She ticked her eyes up and to the side.  "Not much.  I teach sword fighting, hand to hand combat.  Other than that, I try to be just a general pain in the arse."  She smiled sweetly.  

     "You're over 5,000 and that is all you do all day?"  Fred asked.  Kad nodded.  "Lucky."  

     "I assume you have children," Angel said, drinking his blood.    

     "Six of them.  Plus ten grandkids, fourteen great-grandkids, and so on and so forth."  

     "Wow, that's great."  

     "How did you sleep, Liam?" she asked while tending the bird.  

     "Call me Angel," he requested.  

     "Out of the question," she interrupted.  "In your head are two souls and one demon.  The souls are Liam Caldwell and Ian Skywalker, and the demon is Angelus.  If I call you Liam, the demon knows that I absolutely am not addressing him.  I have to differentiate in my head, because I know there is a difference between the three of you.  I know that, I cannot see it any differently.  I look at you and I can hear all three thought patterns.  Except Ian, he is pretty quiet today.  Hence, Liam."  

     "You can't call me something else?"  

     "Well, if you come up with a good nickname for me to use, sure.  But until then, Liam."  

     "Were the skins comfortable?" Fred asked.  

     "Yeah, I slept fine."  

     The two ladies shared a wry look.  

     "What?  Did I snore?"  

     "We like to put snoring under the 'Impossible Activities' category," Kad commented.  

     "Um, I don't remember any snoring," Fred began.  

     "Good."  

     "I remember caterwauling," she finished, and screeched at him.  Kad glanced over at her with a bemused smile.  

     "Sorry," Angel apologized.  

     "I don't mind.  Sometimes it all just burbles up inside and you have to bellow a little.  Do it all the time.  No one's around to hear."  Fred picked up the other bowl of oatmeal and handed it to Angel.  "You'll get better with a little rest and care."  

     "I don't think so."  

     Kad looked at him sadly as Fred asked, "Why wouldn't ya?"  

     "You saw what I turn into.  Back in LA, it's bad.  But here, it's…"  

     Kad scoffed and stoked the fire under the bird.  She muttered something under her breath, and Angel didn't quite catch it.  

     "What now?"  

     "It took you less than a few months to learn how to control your bloodlust after you were cursed with your soul," she said, scolding him.  "Do you really think it would take you that long to learn how to control the green demon?"  

     "We all got our demons," Fred tried helpfully.  

     Kad smiled sadly at her and slightly shook her head, and Angel just looked at her.  

     "Okay, so maybe you got a beast in you.  But I know what it's like to be squirrily, and a freak, with no one else to – does it taste like oatmeal?  I forget how things are supposed to taste."  

     "It's good," he lied.  

     Kad scooted over next to Angel.  She took a deep breath, and laid her hand on his upper arm.  "Liam, contrary to what you like to believe, you are not the worst sinner to ever wish for and attempt redemption.  You remember every victim who was killed with those hands, yes?"  She held up her hand, stalling his answer.  "I do not want a number, just a yes or no."  He nodded, and she continued with absolute seriousness, looking down at her own hands, "So do I."  

     His brow furrowed, then his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.  "You've … killed people?"  

     She nodded, her hands falling into her lap.  "Yes.  I was a professional assassin for years.  I remember every target, every innocent who got in the way…" her hands curled around a throat in her memory, "all of them.  But I was given that chance, and I worked hard for my reward.  Not humanity, or a permanent curse, or money.  Mine was … peace.  Peace of mind, a family restored.  But it still took forty years."  

     His face fell.  "Well, it's better than nothing, I guess."  

     "Unless we are very wrong, your time will come much sooner than that."  Kad took the bird off the fire and began peeling meat from bones.  "Fair warning, this is going to look and sound really disgusting when I eat.  So what do you think of Pylea?"  She piled meat in a bowl and handed it over to Fred.  She took the rest of the carcass and sat in a dark corner, and soon the sound of meat being sucked off the bone came from the shadows.  

     Angel shook his head.  He stood, letting his mind wander.  He stuck his hand into the sunlight streaming from a hole in the ceiling, then stepped into the shaft of light.  "Can't do this in LA.  I'll burst into flames.  Part of the beast thing," he explained to Fred.  

     "So it's better for you here?"  

     "Well, there's the sun.  But also the Angelbeast inside that wants to rip my friends apart."  

     "Ooh, you had better give that a new nickname," Kad interrupted.  

     He sighed wearily and turned to her.  "Why?"  He was beginning to realize how much of a pain in the butt she could be.  

     "Because there is a species of demon called Angelbeasts, and they work for the Powers that Be.  They would be highly offended by the comparison.  They were the inspiration for the Catholic symbols of God's Archangels."  

     Understanding flashed across his face, and he acquiesced.  "Yeah, I can see where that would be an offense."  He looked around the cave at the walls, and noticed Fred's drawings.  "Krv … drplgr.  I know these words.  These are the words we used to open up the portals."  

     "They're not words.  They're consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula."  

     "Well, obviously."  

     "I used to think that if you said them out loud and in the right order, the quaking and the quivering would-" 

     "You mean opening a portal.  Well, that's how we got here and that's how we'll get back."  

     "No, I tried for years and years until my tongue was swollen and my head was all kaplooey.  It doesn't work on this side."  

     "But it does.  A drokken and one of those green warriors got to LA from this end.  Somebody must have opened up the portals for them.  Maybe you did and you just don't know where."  

     "Me?  I don't think so.  The priests have all the power here."  

     "So we steal it," Kad suggested.  Then she bolted out of the shadows, somersaulting over her gear and picking up her cloak as she did so.  She knelt next to the fire and chanted, her hand stirring the flames.  "Fred, get away from the entrance!"  

     Angel pulled her away and back towards the corner Kad had been sitting in.  He glanced around for a weapon as the first demon burst into the cave.  Down at his feet, Angel saw the pile of fowl bones, picked clean.  He picked up a sharp one and threw it, like a dart.  It went straight into the eye socket of the demon.  

(AN:  I've added about five more demons here, just because I can.  In the episode, there was only 3.  If you can't count that quickly, there are now 8 demons.  Well, 1 down, 7 to go.)  

     A stone shot forward from the fire, burning hot, and buried itself in the middle of another demon's forehead.  Kad grabbed the pot of oatmeal and flipped into the pack of demons, swinging to pot wide and hard.  She kicked, backhanded, snapped necks and created chaos.  

     The lead demon took on Angel with his spear.  Kad jumped on his back, wrapping a braided cord around his neck.  Using the weight of her body, she whirled him around and he stabbed two of his own comrades.  The other demons circled around her, and Angel jumped in, punching one over her right shoulder.  She let go of the cord, and Angel realized it was her braid.  

     She'd used her hair to choke the demon.  Okay, that was downright creepy.  

     She flipped back over the other three demons and belted each of them with the pot in one giant swing.  

     The lead demon turned to Angel and speared him, but he miscalculated and hit Angel's stomach.  Angel's eyes flashed red, and he backed against the wall of the cave.  The lead demon turned on Fred.  Angel fought the demon.  "Can't change.  Won't change."  He succeeded and attacked the lead demon again.  It pushed him back and he fell, crying out as the demon stood over him, his spear coming down straight into Angel's stomach again.  

     Kad cried out in echoed pain, hissing, "Shavit, I thought that link was down."  The fire jumped from the pit and rushed towards her, forming a wall that burned the three in front of her.  

     "Missed the heart, did I?" the demon taunted Angel.  It stabbed him again, higher in the chest.  Then it crumpled, and Angel looked into the face of Fred, holding a large rock over her head.  

     Kad straightened up, then winced.  "_Vlebitznitz_," she said savagely, and she breathed easier and rushed to Angel's side.  "Hold still."  She took the packet of cayenne pepper from her cloak, chuckling softly.  "You should have just believed me when I said I could use these for healing.  You do not need a demonstration."  

     He laughed in spite of his pain, and Fred started wailing, "Don't die, please don't die!  Please don't die!"  

     Kad sprinkled the pepper over each of his stab wounds.  Reaching into her pants pocket, she pulled out a small wooden vial.  She pried the cap off with her teeth and poured a tiny amount of black powder onto each wound, in the center of the red pepper.  

     Angel sniffed.  "Gunpowder?  Oh, shit," he swore as he realized her intention.  

     "Sorry," she apologized half-heartedly.  "This will hurt like hell for about a second and then you will feel nothing."  She reached into her vest and pulled out a lighter.  Flipping it open, she flicked the flint wheel and a flame sparked to life.  She touched the lighter to each wound, and the gunpowder exploded, burning away layers of Angel's skin.  That made the pepper seep into his blood stream, and it acted as a coagulent.  

     Kad pocketed the lighter and touched her fingertips to each wound, and the skin sewed itself back together without even a scar.  

     Angel's reactions were swift.  He gritted his teeth as soon as he realized what she had planned, shouted in pain as the gunpowder went off, and then he blinked as his skin healed.  "Wow," he said a minute later.  "That was fast.  Was that the pepper?"  

     She grinned.  "Yes, sir."  

     "That's not the same cayenne pepper Julia Child uses, is it?"  

     "Not exactly, no."  

     "You heal fast."  Fred came to stand over Kad's shoulder as she helped Angel into a sitting position.  

     "One of the pluses of being a beast."  

     "But you're not.  When you were fighting this time, you didn't change."  

     "I was afraid.  That if I did, I'd never get back."  

     Kad ran her fingers through his hair, then yanked her hand away.  "You must face him, if you are ever going to move forwards in life.  This is one of those big tests.  You must pass, or we are all doomed."  

     "You're not a beast," Fred repeated.  

     The lead demon chuckled.  "We'll write that on your bones when he tears you to pieces."  

     "I'll just roll him over the cliff into the drokken gully.  We can do that with the others, too."  

     "Wait," Angel stalled, standing up.  "I need to talk to him."  

     Kad stood over the demon's head, and bent down to touch its forehead.  It jerked away from her, but she grabbed hold of its ear and twisted.  "Go ahead."  

     "What can you tell me about the Princess?" Angel began.  

     "That filthy cow-bitch who brought you into our world?"  

     "Call her that again, I'll remove your face … slowly."  

     Kad stuck a long fingernail into its ear.  She must have hit something or done something, because it shrieked and started squirming.  She pulled her finger back out and yanked its head up to face Angel.  

     "Once the Groosalugg mates with her, she'll be put to death.  Like we already did with that traitor Krevlornswath."  

     Angel's face was impassive, and Kad surreptitiously checked on something from her pants pocket.  

     "You killed Lorne?" Angel demanded quietly.  

     "We cut his head off and mutilated his body."  

     Angel stared him down, then ubruptly stood and turned away.  "I have to go."  

     '_Wait_,' he heard.  It was Kad's voice, but it sounded different.  He turned.  "What?"  

     She was staring at a PDA screen.  Again, he heard her voice, oddly.  '_Something *is* wrong with Lorne's body, so they probably did behead it.  But they have not gotten around to mutilating it yet.  We have time, but not much.  Wesley and Gunn are … planning something.  Cordelia is safe for now, but freaked.  Possibly staring at Lorne's head, although that is just my own conjecture_.'  

     Fred tried to stop him.  "It's too dangerous, they'll kill you."  

     "My friends are in trouble.  One of them's already dead."  

     "But it's safe here.  Out there, it's…"  

     Kad stood, placing a kick to the demon's head, and gathered her things.  She handed Angel a long knife and pulled on her cloak.  Reaching into a pocket of it, she pulled out a gold cylinder.  She reached over her shoulder for her braid, and Angel's eyes widened at its length.  Kad opened the cylinder and wrapped it around her braid.  She pressed a button on the bottom, and eight spikes protruded from it.  She gently folded them back into the cylinder.  "Ready?"  Kad walked around the cave, chanting and making the dead demons disappear.  

     He nodded and began to follow her out of the cave, but Fred protested.  "It's safe here with me," she said again.  

     Angel looked at her sadly.  "I'm sorry."  

     "They'll kill you and you'll turn into that Beast.  Maybe not exactly in that order."  

     "My friends are in trouble," he repeated.  

     "But the Beast.  I know you don't want them to see you that way.  I'm not afraid of it like everyone else."  

     Like a cartoon angel standing on his shoulder, Kad spoke up.  "They are your friends, Liam.  Do you think they will care?"  

     He remembered an ice rink, standing there with his overextended brow and mouth full of teeth, and a gentle kiss from a girl who hadn't even noticed that his face looked any different.  

     Kad bent over the lead demon, snatched the knife from its hands and slit its throat.  Chanting, she held her palm over its body and it disappeared.  "I will be right over here, Liam."  

     He looked up at her, then at Fred.  "Well, I better-"  

     "Help your friends?  I know."  They stared at each other.  "You're a good man."  He climbed out to join Kad.  

     Kad called, "Thank you for your hospitality, Winifred.  We appreciate your help very much."  She patted Angel on the shoulder and ushered him out of the cave.  

     Outside, she quietly counted down, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."  She did an abrupt about-face and reentered the cave.  "Fred, do you have a map we could borrow?"  

     Angel turned away, smiling.  

     It worked.  Fred agreed to show them the way.  

*****

     "Tell me about the killing device," Wesley ordered.  

     "It sends a signal to the collar on every slave in the land."  The native showed him a drawing of it.  

     "What kind of signal?" Gunn asked.  

     "Blows their heads off," another man deadpanned.  

     "If Silas thinks he's losing, he'll use it," Wesley strategized.  "We have to get to him before he does."  

     "The castle is well guarded."  

     "Unlike this place," a new voice broke in.  

     Kad, walking a pace behind Angel as he circled the tree, smirked as the natives and his friends whirled.  

     "It's all right," Wesley began.  "It's all right," he insisted.  

     Out of the corner of his eye, Angel saw Kad reholster a gun and draw her cloak closed.  

     "He's a friend," Wesley continued.  

     "Good thing we were keeping watch," the first native chastised.  

     "He's Angel, he does that," Gunn explained.  "How'd they do that?"  

     "Oh, you mean this?"  Kad held her hands out at her sides, clenched them, and she turned into a puff of smoke.  

     Angel blinked and looked around.  "I don't know how she did that one."  

     Kad appeared behind Wes and Gunn and tapped each of them on the shoulder.  Gunn jumped and Wes squealed.  The blonde began giggling.  "I cannot believe you still scream like a girl."  

     Angel smirked.  "Just ignore her, she's annoying like that.  She's always been around, we just never saw her.  I'll explain in better detail when we get back."  

     "Katarina Skywalker," she introduced herself.  

     "This is Fred," Angel pointed over his shoulder.  "She does that too."  

     "Fred – Winifred?  The girl from Cordy's vision?"  

     Angel nodded.  

     "Check the perimeter.  The east grove," the first native ordered.  

     "These are my friends, Wesley, Gunn," Angel introduced them to Fred.  "And that's the pain in the ass," he said, smiling as he pointed at Kad.  

     "Liam Caldwell," she scolded, leaning on the planning table, "do you want me to start reciting embarassing facts about your life?"  

     His friends stared at Angel.  

     "Liam?" Gunn asked, trying not to laugh.  

     "Don't start," the vampire warned.  

     "These are…" Wes trailed off as he realized the people were gone.  "Those were the Rebels.  We've joined forces with them."  

     Gunn clapped him on the back.  "They made Wes their general."  

     "But you're here now.  Uh, if you want to-"  Wes leaned over and grabbed the maps and drawings.  "Excuse me, Ma'am.  You're much better."  He tried to give them to Angel.  

     "No, Wes.  I … I can't.  You know what happens to me."  They stared at each other.  "I'm sorry.  I'm ashamed for what I did to you," he told Gunn.  

     "It's kind of a crazy place here.  The sooner we all get out, the better."  

     Kad patted Angel on the back and rubbed his shoulders.  "He has a Test to pass," she said, quite seriously.  

     "Hey, you're older than me, you take a crack at it," Angel told her.  

     Wes's and Gunn's eyes widened.  

     Kad gave him a pointed look, crossing her arms over her chest.  After a few seconds, he got it.  

     "Oh.  Another Test."  

     "Yes.  I call dibs on the next battle, though."  

     "Hey!" Gunn protested.  

     Angel smiled.  "Too late, Gunn.  Fred here might know something that can help.  She knows a lot about the portals."  

     Fred smiled modestly.  "Not a lot.  The trionic speechcraft formulation/modification has to alter the dynamic reality sphere.  Lutzbalm predicted it at Zurich in '89- laughed him off the stage- although the slavery and degradation's no laughing matter."  

     The others looked at her strangely, but Kad stood with her head cocked.  "Reality sphere… Reality, reality…"  She walked to an open space and closed her eyes.  "No, much too fragmented here."  She sighed.  "Mysticism will not work, we will have to use physics."  She jerked her chin in Fred's direction.  

     "She's been here a while," Angel explained.  "We also have to find the Host.  His head's been separated from his body."  

     "But not to worry just yet, it can still be put back on," Kad reassured.  She turned her head, and a commotion sprung up in the direction of her stare.  "Speak of the devil…"  

     "We captured this warrior from the Deathwok clan," two natives stated – from off the ground where their captive held them.  

     "Landok!"  

     "Angel the Drokken Killer.  I will not battle you for saving the slave girl's neck."    

     "Good."  

     "It is forbidden to fight while performing a sacred duty."  He took the basket off his shoulder.  "I was transporting my kinsman home when these fools tried to stop me."  

     "Lorne's head?" Kad asked calmly, as if it happened every day.  

     "I have it right here."  

     They all looked inside.  

     "He was…" Angel began.  

     "Yeah.  Mmm," Wes and Gunn agreed.  

     Lorne's eyes opened and demanded, "That's it?"  

     The guys screeched and ducked, but Fred stood staring, nonplussed.  

     "Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues?  Where's the love?"  

*****

     That night, Wesley sat with his sword leaning against his chest.  He stared long and hard into space.  Not far away, Kad meditated, her pants rolled up around her knees and her bare feet in the fire.  

     Gunn came up and told Wesley point blank, "I'm only gonna say this once.  The guys you send to create those diversions are gonna die."  

     "Yes, they are."  He stood.  "You try not to get anybody killed, you wind up getting everybody killed."  He turned and addressed the camp.  "Get ready to move out."  

     Kad stood, in the middle of the fire, and stretched.  Stepping out, she rolled down her pants and pulled on her boots.  She caught up with Wesley and slung an arm around his shoulders.  "Stay strong.  This plan can work if everyone believes that it can."  She stopped him, and turned him to face her.  "Liam is not the only one who is going to be tested in these coming months."  

     She stood back as Angel approached him for orders.  

     "What do you need me to do?"  

     "Go to the village, call out the Groosalugg, and kill him."  

     "Kill their undefeated champion?  I can't do that without turning into the Beast."  

     "I know."  

     "You have to face him once more," Kad repeated herself.  

     Angel looked at them all in dread.  "When I fired you guys, the reason I – the darkness was coming out in me.  I didn't want you near it.  The thing that comes out here is ten times worse.  Wes, I do this, you know I won't come back from it."  

     "Yes, you will.  I know you."  He looked at Gunn.  "We know you."  

     Kad said something in another language that made Angel stare at her in horror.  "Give him…  Spike?  A soul?!  How could-"  

     "We will do whatever it takes to win this war.  This," she spread her hands, encompassing Pylea, "is just another one of many battles.  There is a war being fought:  Good against Evil.  You have been chosen, for many reasons.  Are you going to say no to them?"  

     "We know you're a man with a demon inside, not the other way around.  We know you have the strength to do what needs to be done, and you will come back to us."  

     "I could go with you," Fred suggested.  "I know how to prepare the Challenge Torch."  

     "I will be there as well, but I cannot fight," Kad warned.  "I am bound by laws.  No fighting outside your home dimension, unless you are protecting the existence of your client."  

     Wes put his hand on Angel's shoulder.  "You'll come back."  

*****

     As Angel walked into the village to challenge the Groosalugg, Krice watched from atop a wall.  When he changed to the Beast, she jumped down and made her way closer.  And when Cordelia stopped them from killing each other, she pulled the two guards off their horses.  

     "…As a friend and coworker?"  Angel droned on, trying to get Cordy to admit she loved him, in any small way.

     Kad came up to him, hugging him to her side.  "Let it go, Liam.  She will be Tested soon enough."  

     He slung an arm around her.  "Thanks for your support.  That meant a lot to me."  

     "All part of my job description."  

*****

     Kad waited outside for Angel as he and Lorne said goodbye to Lorne's mother.  "Hey, Lorne, I want you to meet someone."  

     "Lorne, this is Katarina Skywalker.  Katt, this is Lorne."  

     "Very pleased to meet you.  Always love to meet someone with a set of pipes like yours."  

     "You're a musician?"  Lorne kissed her hand when she nodded.  "You are my new best friend.  Let me hear something, sing a few bars."  

     Kad took a deep breath, and let it out.  "Later, I promise.  I have … many nightmares, and most psychics run screaming when they probe me.  But I will give you a private concert, you have my word."  

     "I feel a song coming on."  

     "I thought you might," Angel teased.  

     "Somewhere over the rainbow," Lorne began, and Kad started giggling as the natives dropped like flies left and right from the unexpected sound.  

*****

     When the car exited the portal inside the bar, they all were glad to be back.  Lorne breathed in the air, then looked around in dismay.  "You know, I've been thinking about remodeling the bar," he said as Angel let Kad out of the trunk.  

     She looked around in surprise.  "We are inside Caratas."  

     They all looked around.  "Oops."  

     Kad grinned.  "Ah, but we are back on Earth.  I can use more of my powers here."  She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and clenched her fists.  There was a flash, and the car with its six passengers were relocated to the street outside.  "Problem solved."  

     "You are so cool," Cordy gushed.  

     Kad grinned, and stayed outside of the car as they all got back in.  

     "Aren't you coming?" Wesley asked.  

     "I am going to pace you there.  Well, race to be more precise."  

     "You're kidding," Gunn exclaimed.  

     "Gunn, I'm not surprised about anything she does anymore," Angel said.  He started the car and gunned the engine.  "You ready?"  

     "You bet your Irish arse I am, me boy-o."  

     He threw his head back and laughed, and Lorne counted down.  

     True to form, she ran on foot with inhuman speed, and Angel finally had to push the Plymouth to 70 m.p.h. to get ahead of her.  He slowed down as they approached the Hotel, though, and she caught up to him.  "Damn, that was fast," Gunn commented.  

     Kad grinned and stretched her muscles out.  "Come on, let us get inside.  I want to call my brother and tell him the good news."  

(Please read on to Gods, Prophecies, Armageddon and More Gods)

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